i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
