Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
