I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
