He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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