If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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