she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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