yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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