Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
