so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
