This is not my ceiling
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
