I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
