I didn't shave. On purpose
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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