whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
