don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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