Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
