Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How external is "for external use only"?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
