I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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