dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize