Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
