Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
