He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
