from now on my penis is your penis
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
