you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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