he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
