the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
