no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
