Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
