I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
they're like a gay fantastic four
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize