Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
