Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
