you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
