his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
