I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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