We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
