well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
