is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
