What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize