My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
