did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
