I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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