And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
