i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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