Say something about gay babies.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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