Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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