3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
