I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
