don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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