I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
