I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
