2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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