I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
