Taylor Swift is so right about you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
