why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
