so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
